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Have a Laugh while You're Waiting

  • Would Transformers buy life insurance … or car insurance?
  • Question: What do accountants use for birth control? Answer: Their personality.
  • An actuary, an underwriter, and an insurance salesperson are riding in a car. The salesperson has his foot on the gas, the underwriter has his foot on the brake, and the actuary is looking out the back window telling them where to go.
  • My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other — so now it’s just a waiting game.
  • Q. How many actuaries does it take to change a light bulb? A. How many did it take last year?